8/9/17
Watching you walk away
Leaving me standing alone
I reflect back to yesterday.
You said you had to be alone.
We were once inseparable
Like two peas in a pod we were
Our love was once undeniable
But you threw it away to be with her.
Once we'd walk in the moonlight
Watching it shine on the sea.
While illuminating our night.
Now it's you silhouette that I see.
Your love is now dark and cold
What was once warm and nice
It was both strong and bold
But it came with the ultimate price.
Loving you was all I wanted to do
Giving you all I have in me
But my heart is broken in two
I'm no longer who I use to be.
***************
A different kind of view
When I was young I had double vision
Things bounced around everywhere
It was from my health condition.
Sometimes I wouldn't go anywhere.
Knowing if I did I could fall and get hurt.
Soon the migraines would come on strong.
It felt like my eyes were full of dirt.
But doctors didn't know what was wrong.
They gave me glasses to try to correct it.
But they didn’t seem to help me at all.
So to be safe, in a chair I'd just sit.
That way I wouldn't hit a wall.
My vision could cause me more issues
I could get sick and unable to eat.
Then my insomnia worsened too.
But I refused to admit defeat.
When the answers to the problem came
Was after my trip to see me family.
The pressure on my head flying in the plane.
Caused my head to hurt and I wasn't steady.
On my 18th birthday and laid in bed.
My head hurt and I didn't see clearly.
I couldn't even lift up my head
It wasn't a Happy Birthday for me.
I felt trapped within my own body
Unable to function on my own.
I pray that God would help me.
And that He wouldn't leave me alone.
After numerous appointment for me
They finally found a tumor in my brain
And they'd schedule me for surgery.
life knocks me down.
So much trouble for me.
sometimes I feel I'll drown.
judging me by what they see.
I've struggled since my birth
The doctor broke my skull during delivery.
So I used
The tumor is gone but I still get pain.
During my recovery three weeks
In the hospital room filled with flowers
I was in the dark and too tired to speak.
To all the friends and visitors.
They kept my eyes covered from the light.
While the road to recovery began for me.
This made me wonder when it was day or night.
Also wondered if I'd ever be able to see.
I reflected back into my childhood
How I suffered and with my Epilepsy
Feeling punished for being good
Why couldn't I have been pretty.
During my times of darkness
I learned where true beauty lies.
Where I could find happiness
And it wasn't seen with my eyes.
**********************
8/23/17
Our first date was magical
Walking together holding hands
The breeze was cool
You had a special evening planned.
Music was playing in the background
Sitting together you kissed my cheek
I was relieved there was nobody around.
I just sat blushing and couldn't speak.
I was nervous, not knowing what to expect.
You smiled and looked me in the eye.
These are moments I can recollect
I felt light as if I going to fly.
You took me in your strong embrace.
Reassuring me everything would be okay.
The kiss took my thoughts to a new place.
It was gentle and sweet taking my breath away.
**********
You won't know anything
About me and what I felt for you
The joy that love could bring
You’ll always know nothing
We shall always be apart.
Why was I scared?
Why did you depart?
I guess, I will never know.
I will never be aware-
Of the things you thought;
You always wanted to say.
**********
Considering how I'm labeled ,
with the stigma of disabled.
I guess one could consider me retired.
Since one time in my life I did, I was inspired
I'd become successful doing great things.
But that didn't happen, I turned to writing.
For I've always did it as a form of expression.
For all the events in my life that always happen.
To get out I volunteer a few days a week.
I can have someone listen to me if I speak.
Making new friends along the way is a bonus
For I didn't like the way my life was.
Then I found a new place I'm able to be me.
It's right here sharing on AllPoetry.
I've expanded grown more in the way I write.
So I'm often on here morning, noon or night.
I still hope to someday published novelist
So thiss I've added it my own bucket list.
My bucket it pretty full of things to do.
Hearing the music of memories
The songs that mean the most
to me are ones my father sang
Sometimes I'd get to choose
Whether it be nursery rhyme
Sesame street or mother goose
when I was a young girl.
As I grew he'd teach me
Something old or maybe new.
Things from the Beatles or Elvis.
He would sing the yellow Submarine
He loved My blue suede shoes
And love me tender, and more
Just some of what I miss
But since he's gone now
I miss him more each day
I think of my parents the most
When I hear I'll Stand By You
Knowing that no matter what
trouble I had they'd always
Tell me that I was strong
No matter what others would say or do.
The song I had to most fun with
And loved to sing with my dad
Was Kenny Roger's The Gambler
He'd sing when I was really sad
He knew I listen to every word
I'd join in when he came to
You've got to know when to hold
Them and when to walk away
***************************
So many songs hold memories
As a child it was nursery rhymes
My father would sing to me.
When i needed comfort he'd make time.
Especially during or after my worst seizures
He'd come and try to protect me.
We had our own business so he was always near
He'd turn on our favorite music.
He'd sing Put Your Head on My Shoulder
Sometimes it was You Are My Sunshine.
He'd stay the singing while I'd recover.
I always made sure he knew when I was fine.
When he had a heart attack and other issues
I'd sing songs to him like he did for me
My favorite song I sing is I'll stand by you.
I wanted to him to feel a lot better and be happy.
Now when I hear certain song from back then
Especially the songs from 60's or the 70's
It brings those good times back to me again.
Sometimes I want to cry others make me happy.
I miss my parents more than I could ever say
Our love and relationship was undeniable
when I hear our songs my memories replay
Those times are special and unforgettable
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